“Have you seen (insert name of show I can’t remember)? It’s good. There’s a trans guy character on the show, but it’s not what the show is ABOUT, if that makes sense.”
The words of my favorite tv recommending friend hit like a brick.
“It’s not what the show is ABOUT.”
I realized in the moment, that’s all I wanted. Yes, E is trans. But that is not what our life is ABOUT.
…if that makes sense.
I resolved in the then-and-there that, despite a long season of fighting and thrashing and worrying myself awake on long nights about what other people thought and what they’d do…. we needed to move on. This is our life. This is our family. We have a trans child in that family, but that’s not our one, big “about.” Our family is about a lot of things.
We are about piling up on the bed Branden and I share on late nights and early mornings.
We are about sarcasm.
We are about Jesus, and what he actually came and did and said.
We are about acting really stupid.
We are about keeping Jolee and Branden from cheating at every game ever.
We are about standing up for each other, and we are also about keeping one another in check.
We are about 15 minutes late for any given thing.
We are about Daddy bringing pizza home when Mommy can no longer even.
We are about too many animals under one roof.
We are about “we can do hard things.”
We are about making sure Bay is sufficiently humbled in the presence of teenage girls (praise).
We are about two very dumb kids who fell in love and got everything they never deserved.
We are about 90’s music.
We are about thinking about/speaking up for/taking care of others.
We are about baked goods and coffee.
After the fallout, I craved getting back to some semblance of normalcy. Normalcy has not, nor will it ever, mean denying who any of my children are. It didn’t mean undoing what had been done, winning back who we had lost, or forgetting what we’d learned. It simply meant folding it in.
It’s folded, and for now, we are fine. We are really good, actually.
Which is nice, because we are totally about really good.