I understand that you may feel I’m stepping out of place by writing this. I’m willing to take that chance, because this has to stop.
You cannot keep talking to her the way you do.
You pick her apart. You can’t let well enough alone. And God forbid anyone compliment her- you are so fast to play it off or point out some “obvious” flaw.
I’m not sure when or why you started believing that it’s okay to treat her the way you do. What happened to kindness and grace? So what if she has things she needs to work on? Everyone does. Trust the process. You know as well as I do she is finding her way.
Please, please leave her alone. She is beautiful and smart and funny. I adore her, and you should, too. Can’t you see her- really see her?
Go look at her. Right now, do it.
Grab a mirror, friend. See what’s good and lovely and God-inspired. It’s all there. And then promise me you’ll stop the negative self-talk. You are doing your best. You who are so many things to so many people. You with the light shining out of you like a beacon, letting those who feel lost know, “this is where you are safe.” You with the capable and powerful and just plain gorgeous body that finds so many ways to exert itself and be the literal embodiment of love. That body with good way down in its very marrow. Trust it. Like it. If you’d like to work on it, work on it. But love it in your process, because it is still the house that holds you.
No more throwing stones. No more tearing down what a lifetime has built.
Be kind to her. Believe in her; she deserves it.